Happy Valentine’s and Gyalentine’s Day, niggas! Today is a day to celebrate ourselves and others in the name of love! In doing so, I’ve created a guide of the different types of niggas that exist on Valentine’s Day. Ladies, you’ll know which one you have (or don’t have), and gentlemen, you’ll know which one you are! Let’s get it!
1. The “Pussy is not a gift” Valentine’s Day Nigga
This nigga is fed up with the notion that Valentine’s Day is just for women. He wanna be wined and dined and have his back blown out after dinner too, ladies! In short, he’s tired of you bitches. He feels as though the bomb ass pussy you got is not a gift, but a “requirement” so this gift does not suffice. Shaving your pubes into the shape of Cupid’s bow and arrow also does not cut it for this man, ladies. I hear you and I’m actually not mad at this type of nigga because he’s got a great point. PUSSY IS NOT A VALENTINES DAY GIFT. If you gon be lazy with it, you might as well just say, “Babe I didn’t know what to get you so I didn’t get anything” and just blow his back out later on without telling him your pussy is the gift. He already knows it’s wetter than a Seaquarium *yawns*. Personally, I think Valentine’s Day is a time for both parties to celebrate love, whatever that means for the both of y’all. Communication is key and both parties taking time to learn one another is crucial!
2. The “Pussy is all I need for Valentine’s Day” nigga
Your pussy so good this man has no problem not receiving shit from you other than pussy for Valentine’s Day. He just appreciates you allowing him to be inside of you. This could be your man, your friends with benefits, or your “bro” (some of y’all love calling these niggas your brother, but wholetime them yeeks getting clapT). PATHETIC. He only needs your time. However, in return of the laziness of your gift, there may be uncertainty on what you’ll receive from him. If he’s your man, he MIGHT still do something special, but he also might just gift you with some meaty-oaker dick as well and call it a day. Beware of this nigga ladies. He has no standards.
3. The “Ima take you out February 15th cuz I was tied up at ‘work’ on Valentine’s Day” nigga
Uhhhhh ladies…sorry to break it to y’all but if you’re still falling for this okie doke, you MIGHT need to get an MRI. This nigga ain’t shit and YOU might be a clown. If he has not officially informed you that you are the side chick, welcome to my Ted Talk. Hello, it’s nice to meet you. However, if he has informed you, he’s an upstanding Piece of Shit and you might just be a dumbass. Keyword is MIGHT, though. Times are changing and some women are perfectly cool with being the side chick because there may still be perks to this deal: great sex, food, gifts, shit…all the shit he probably does with his girl but it could be better or worse. You never know with these niggas ladies so you chancing it. I don’t judge and I’m not gon tell you to dub it (even though you should), all ima say in this situation is don’t be a dumb bitch, know what’s going on, don’t have any expectations for this kind of man, and keep yourself at peace. And stop lurking his girlfriend IG. She don’t know about you, goofy.
4. The “Everyday is Valentine’s Day so I don’t gotta do shit today” nigga
I don’t know how I truly feel about this type of man. Niggas loveeeeee saying this shit yet only do the bare minimum on the daily so I generally don’t buy it. There he is. Just like that sloth. Just looking goofy thinking he’s doing something but nothing at all. I just cannot call it. There ACTUALLY are men who spoil their women on the regular though (never experienced, believe it’s a myth, but I think I’ve read about this phenomenon somewhere so I won’t say it’s totally untrue). Ladies this one is totally dependent on the kind of man you have and how well you know him so I’ll just leave this one at that LOL.
5. The nigga who actually tries to make Valentines Day amazing for you because he loves you and not because he has the expectation that you’re going to do something grandiose for him
These niggas are the best type of niggas! What they do for you is independent of their expectation of you. They just want to do for you because they love you. They are generally observant and know exactly what you would like and what would make you smile and happy. They love showering you with love and affection and you will never have to question their love for you. This is the guy you do everything for. This is the guy whose face you always want to keep a smile on because he cares about doing the same for you. He’s a blessing. Abeg, this is the kind of nigga I’m looking for. If you are reading this and this is you, make your way to my DM’s, please and thank you.
6. And the niggas who don’t got nobody but themselves for Valentine’s Day
Regardless of the type of man you have or the type of man you are, I say all of this to say, everyday is a day of love and to love but Valentine’s Day is the day to do the most with it! All types of love too. It’s not just about romantic love. It’s okay if you’re alone today watching Netflix. Me too, chile and I’m not mad one bit. Send your momma flowers. Gift your best friends something sweet. Celebrate yourself. Love on yourself. Remind yourself how beautiful, amazing, and worthy you are everyday but especially today! If you are celebrating love today with someone, I pray you all keep the love going and live in eternal happiness and peace.
Happy Valentine’s Day to you all! 💓