Dating fucking sucks.
Liking niggas sucks.
It makes me feel ashy and washed up. I swear I’m new to all of this shit. Since my late teens, I was always boo’d up. If I wasn’t in a relationship, I was on my way to being in one. I always wanted love outside of myself. I always wanted to feel like I had a partner to escape to and escape into. I’ve always been a hopeless romantic and I like all that mushy shit, so I made sure I always had back up and was never alone. (Sidebar: there always being a nigga around was peak insecurity and fear of being alone with a sprinkle of abandonment issues, but we’ve healed and we here now!) Safe to stay, it’s honestly been years since I’ve been single with ZERO prospects and although I kinda love it, this shit is a little ghetto.
This territory started out as fun. Finally being single and not tied to an ex in ANY way was and is so damn freeing. You start talking spicy to niggas in the IG DMs 🌶 . Flirting. Making them feel like bad bitches, and then boom…you actually start to like one, or shit, some, so you indulge.
Everything’s going cool. He seems like a nice guy. He’s kinda funny and can dress a little bit so your ears and titties perk up. You already peeped his birthday pics on IG so you already know what goofy ass sign he is (Scorpio). You want to take it a step deeper and get his place and time of birth to inspect his birth chart, but instead, you decide to chill.
Good move sis.
Everything is going swell so y’all decided to go out on a date. And another date. And another date. Safe to say, you like this nigga. Great. Isn’t liking someone such an interesting space to be in? You feel like you’re two-stepping with Jesus while your stomach is eating itself inside out…simultaneously. You know this is a harrowing feeling but shit, the risk of love is worth it so you continue to indulge. You out here thanking God, ya momma, your haters, and The Academy for finally bringing you a nigga with some sense.
I feel you sis.
Then guess what?
Niggas begin to Nig and suddenly shit changes….
The texts begin to come in slower. The calls are now fewer and far between. Shit, they might just stop contacting you all together…Out. Of. Nowhere. 💀 OR they’ll begin to put you on the back burner and occasionally pop back up proclaiming “I miss you’s”, “I can’t wait to see you’s”, and “Let me taste it just once’s”. These are the niggas who listen to PND on repeat and wear them big ass Balenciaga moon shoes. #nothanks
DO. NOT. FALL. FOR. THE. OKIE. DOKE! It’s a trap!
I want to keep this short and sweet, so I say all of this to say, MEN AND WOMEN ALIKE, this is NOT okay! Stop leading people on. Stop manipulating people. If you don’t know what you want, start there by figuring it out, first. As soon as you’re not feeling somebody anymore, just let them know. Heal yourself. Stop trauma bonding. Start fucking communicating like an adult or just leave people alone and work on yourself. It’s very simple maths.
At some point your momma or daddy not hugging you or wiping the boogers out your nose as a child no longer holds weight. At your big age, YOU are now in control of your life and stop trying to ruin the life of another being in the name of love. We don’t want it!
Leave people alone if you have no intention adding anything of value to them…their peace, their sanity, their wellbeing…their fucking net worth. We don’t want confusion. Nor do we want to be emotionally unstable! We are good alone!
Please come correct, or never at all.
PS: Know what you deserve out here as well and don’t have nobody out here dogging your shit. If you do not yet know your worth, you, too, need to leave people the fuck alone. Stop expecting to be fixed by another person. Only you and God can do that. Healing is a beautiful thing and I promise you you’ll come out on top once you put in the work. 💓