Ahhhhh, the world of dating. You would think now by 25, I would have this dating shit down to a science, maybe at least a little bit, but to be honest, it’s all new to me.
Since being newly single, my want for male accompaniment and companionship has diminished astronomically, to where it is nearly nonexistent, and I have to say, this has been the best moments of my life.
I love men. I really really do. In fact, I love headstrong, matter of fact men who know exactly where they’re going, what they’re doing, and the fact that they know they’ll get to wherever they need to go with or without me. Yes, lord! *Uncle Larry vc*
I love a man that feels just a litttttle out of reach LMAO. I don’t know if there’s something wrong with me, but that shit sexy.
In my current Chronicles of Singlehood, I am growing to learn more and more what I like, what I dislike, what I LOATHE, and what doesn’t even make sense…for either parties. For instance, one thing I LOATHE, is having to be in constant communication with said “person” or said “people”. Why must we talk and text all day? Why must we see each other more than 4 times a month? OR more than once every other week? Why is space such a difficult concept to grasp? I. Don’t. Know. And this is exactly what’s keeping me away of from “dating” or even saying “hello” ……..unless the nigga is irresistible ….chile.
On the contrary, I have met some really incredible men who get “it” and are down with the let’s just have fun energy. Let’s go dance, let’s converse, let’s NOT talk and text all day, let’s see one another a few times a month and just have FUN. Let’s have experiences. Let’s be able to say that each time I see this person, niggas are guaranteed to have a wonderful time. That’s how it should be, with anyone.
Honestly, I’m just exhausted by the thought of girlfriend duties, responsibilities, or existence within that realm. That shit is tiring. Men are needy.
We are often also so concerned with shit that just doesn’t matter. For instance, how much or how often they call you, text you, or check up on you. Of course it depends on the person, and the dynamics of your relationship with them, but how do they make you feel when you’re together? Is the universe still? Is their undivided attention on you? Are they listening to you? Are you happy? Are you both present for one another and engaging in a healthy manner? They don’t sit on their phone, right? Exactly. That’s what’s most important, and honestly, that’s all I care about. I care about real life experiences. Fuck a call. Fuck a text. (It’s nice from time to time, but niggas are also very good without it).
In having these “I’m not looking for anything serious” conversations with men, even within my platonic male relationships, many women who feel this way are often viewed as aliens and/or scorned women. As if we can’t just be so focused on our own shit that we’re good to go at it alone, but all the while enjoying ourselves, going out, and shaking ass. This is not a men’s game, it’s definitely a free for all.
Not being deeply romantically interested in men currently is invigorating. It makes your interactions with them that much more enjoyable and pure. Men, y’all should try this too. When you see that beautiful black queen, don’t immediately imagine you bagging her and giving her the wild back shots, but instead, you’re just getting to know another soul on a human level. She might fall in love with you (probably not, but I said what I said).
At this point of my life, I just want to have a good time. In truly working to fully embody the “I’m here for a good time, not a long time” sentiment, is where the magic happens. That’s where much of the beauty of my life has been manifesting and transmuting within different dimensions.
My inner peace comes from the release of attachment and being unconcerned with expectations of and for others. I’m not a mind reader, and I move at my own wave and spirit. There has to be a deep innerstanding that you, too, are not a mind reader and also your own separate entity, human being, and soul who should always be guided by God and self.
So I have to say…I am having So Much Fun right now...
FUNNN….In the best and the worst ways possible. Truly trusting yourself and listening to your inner voice which is God-guided AND your inner child at the same damn time can be risky business. I’ve gotten myself into a little shit, but it’s a little fun shit. I just do my best to stay afloat, 10 toes down, remain peaceful, and give the love and energy I want to receive from others.
In all my 25 years, I have never asked, “So what are we?” And I promise you, I never will, because if I don’t already know, it ain’t a damn thing.